Bang it

Hello one and all!

Why am I awake at such a time of night? I have no idea. I’m pretty drowsy from all the medicine in me, but I feel like writing. 

I’ve been taking life just like how I used to in primary school. No more huge plans, no more worrying about not getting to where I want to be in the future, but just taking every day as it is. I’ve decided that every day is a new day, a clean, fresh, blank day. Imagine smelling new sheets on your bed, it’s just like that, sort of. I seem to look forward to each day instead of fear the days that are coming. In fact, I don’t think very much now. I don’t think of unnecessary things that would clutter that sad little thing that sits in my head, my brain.

Why torment your mind with so many other things you don’t have to worry about?

The next semester looks like a huge mess, I’ve got to learn to manage my time well. Prioritise. You know one of them abstract paintings you don’t understand, because they’re way too messy, and they’re probably just splattered paint? Yes, that’s how the next semester looks like, and I am pretty afraid, but I’m just going to take it one day at a time. Time was separated into years, months, days, minutes, and seconds for a reason.

Another reason why I’ve decided to adopt this way of living, I guess this is a way of living, is because I’ve seen so many people with "The Plan" fail. "I’m going to do this, then I’m going to do that, and that will get me there." Sadly, I am one of those people with "The Plan". What I fear most is failing, and getting a crap job like sitting in a cubicle typing codes. I do not want to waste my life doing something I don’t like. I don’t exactly like what I’m learning right now, but at least I know that one day this will end. I absolutely do not want to get a rubbish job that I have to depend on. I would rather have my brain and guts minced. Maybe by looking at the present and dwelling in the present first, my plan would not fail. Short sightedness may be bad, but so is being long sighted, you miss out on a lot. 

Life is a journey with pit stops, so don’t forget to stop sometimes. Everyone needs to take a piss, or maybe do number 2, or refuel themselves sometimes.

I’m getting way to drowsy to think now. Farewell my friends, till next time!

The holidays are here!

I’ve been going out with people I don’t know. Honestly, it’s been pretty fun! It’s a good experience I guess, mixing with weirdos and getting caught up in weird situations. Going to Timbre to see David Choi was good fun! It was peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time! The drinks, the food, the music was all just amazing. Don’t regret spending the load! I went to a hardcore gig as well, the way we dressed was just way inappropriate for the tiny gig. With Baybeats on the other side, choosing to go to a dark, grimy studio in a random alley just made it weirder. Helped out at a pet farm as well. Being able to make all the little animals happy, makes me happy. Happy enough to let the crappy cat that went all Hulk-like on us slide. It was a vicious, vicious little thing, really cute though! I hope Timmy had people to play with before someone took him home, or got put to sleep. Little G’s the one that’s brought all this fun to the holidays! Not forgetting, light sparring at a carpark, we had a small audience!

4 TRUTH’09 HAD OUR SECOND CHALET AT ALOHA LOYANG! What was our bungalow called? Bulu bulu? Oh right. BULBUL. They are still the people I’m most comfortable with. I can dance with a mop, act like an idiot, scream like a monkey, do weird dives and stunts, and all sorts of other weird random stuff I do, with them. Preparing the barbeque, weird talks, uglydoll, home-cooked food, laughing at everything, laughing at anything, playing weird games, I get why I missed them and why I miss them now. It’s been hard, thinking of how I should act, what I should say, controlling what I do with my poly mates, having a time where I can do anything I want was such a relief I guess. They’re like my family.

Muay Thai IVP. My seniors worked their asses off. It was really exciting watching the fights. They all did a great job! Congratulations to the winners! I bet everyone has learnt loads from the competition. Singapore Polytechnic got the award for best club. They deserved it, they were really good. Their president kept his cool when he was fighting against the guy with the horrible attitude. Horrible horrible juice. Well, good job everybody!

I fixed up my dad’s bike, probably going to start cycling again. Soon Tuesday and Thursday nights are going to be taken up as well. Break from Muay Thai is ending soon. I’m probably going to ache every week with Pilates on Wednesday mornings. I’m going to miss everyone who’s going to China for 5 weeks.

This post has been pretty dull huh? Well,

Hello everyone,

I’ve been a poly student for bout 4 months already, and my life is slowly slipping into a routine. I know, a routine sounds boring, but this routine isn’t boring, not at all. Trust me. Imagine having to go through life everyday having too many things to do and having to choose between groups of people. No, I’m not trying to sound like a popular brat. When you’ve been through few years of schooling life, you’d realise that you make friends from everywhere.

You have friends from this camp, and then you go for another camp and you make friends at that camp, and then you participate in that activity and say what, OH, you make friends there too. Then you have your classmates, your ex-classmates, your friends from your co-curricular activities and boom! You don’t know which friends you should choose sometimes, when they ask you all at the same time, and you feel bad that you have to turn some of them down. 

Now, I have no choice, but to prioritise people. I choose who I meet according to how important the people are and how important the meet up is. I’m sorry friends, I love all of you, but I love some people more. Family still comes first though, always. Wow, this post was draggy.

Let’s end with a picture now shall we, make it awesome.

 This looks awesome! Take care now, bye bye then.

Hello everyone!

I’ve decided to start blogging again. I wanted to start a blog on tumblr, but no, blogging there just doesn’t feel as good as blogging at this space.

I am no longer a student taking her O levels. Nope, I am now a student at a polytechnic! Well, I got through Os, not with flying colours, maybe flying with a broken wing or something. 

The life of a poly student, is just absolutely tiring. It’s enjoyable I have to say, but really tiring. Every week you come into class, fill your brain with all sorts of crap you have to learn to apply in life, in my case programming, computing systems and stuff like that. I’m so glad I have Muay Thai, it’s like a time to de-stress. Imagine having filled your head in one day, the next day you go back and fill it somemore, and the next day once more, and it keeps going. What happens to an overflowing pail?

I miss having Joan in class, us and our crappy, but amusing conversations. I hope you still have that book! LOL, with that camping story!

I miss having lit class. Lit was my favourite subject.

I miss the netballers.

I miss sitting down on the floor in the train.

I miss 4 Truth.

I miss KCP.

I do like that I get to meet Natasha, Kotaro, Joan  and Joey every Wednesday for lunch!

I like that Nurul, Eunice and I are still in contact even though we lead pretty different lives!

I like that every Saturday, the frisbee mates still meet to play frisbee together.

I like how I still have most of my friends from KCP.

I like that I’ve met some pretty awesome people in NP as well. 

That sums up most of the stuff in the past one year right? 

Well, peace!

I guess my doctor would confidently say that what I have is H1N1. He said that within 2 days, if tamiflu does work, what I have is H1N1. If it doesn’t work, then what I probably have is another type of flu, the H3N3 flu. H3N3 is another flu that has been spreading in the secondary schools and JCs very quickly recently, but what I have is probably H1N1, since Tamiflu is working. My temperature has gone down from 40.1 degrees to 38.5 degrees. Usually, having a temperature of 38.5 would seem horrible to have, but it definitely is much better than having a temperature of 40.1 degrees. Having a temperature of 38.5 is a relief, really. My sore throat’s gotten worse though, and my taste buds are kinda weird. My tongue has gone purple as well. Well, all I’m hoping for is to get well by Wednesday. I can’t miss my O level listening paper. That would really reek.

It’s kinda hard for me to arrange what I have to say systematically, because my brain’s not feeling very good.

 Cassandra, over and out.

The trip was fantastic. Got a bit sunburnt there, but still great! Check out my facebook profile to see how awesome the trip was. Haha!

My birthday was alright, was still pretty tired from the trip. My parents cooked up a good meal. Ate my fill, lamb chop, mac & cheese, broccoli, mushrooms and loads of other stuff, and loads and loads of ice-cream. U.D.D.E.R.S just opened downstairs. Their ice-cream’s great. GREAT GREAT ICE-CREAM. This is free advertisement man. Thanks to all the awesome people who wished me!

 It’s my brother’s birthday today, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINDON, TITI, BOY BOY, FEI ZAI..too many bloody names. Haha. You’re 12! This marks the beginning of a huge change in you. I know it, but you will always be my little brother.

 One of the most talented voices on earth is gone, but as long as we still listen to the songs that he sang, his soothing, mellow, yet high voice will always be remembered. It was about time it happened anyway, he’s already going 15. Definitely one of the best voices I’ve ever heard.

Transformers, more that meets the eye. Transformers, robots in disguise!

In a few hours, it’ll just be the sun, the beach, family and me. WHOO! How I miss water sports so much. Snorkeling, diving, kayaking, etc, even swimming. It’s different from swimming with a pool full of people, you know, it’s so much nicer swimming in the sea. Can’t wait! 

BUT! I’LL BE BACK! (Cassandra starts firing machine guns profusely. Doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot!)

That picture totally shows my character. Lol. In both ways. I think the times I enjoy myself most are when I’m with my family and my friends, so, honestly, what I really want for my birthday, isn’t what I’ve been crappily hinting about, but to be with my family and friends and just have fun. I think nothing beats the joy you get when you’re having fun with people you love. Just like in that picture. Gotta love the Mcfly guys. Haha.

I’m gonna end with my favourite band, when I was 2 years old, I still like them now though. LOL. SHAMPOO!

   I still have their album, coz my mum said that I liked them so much that she had to buy their album.

"uh oh, we’re in trouble."

WHOOO! IT’S OVER! Sort of. There’s still Oral and Listening, gotta speak more Chinese I guess. I hope hope hope hope and pray pray pray so so so hard that I clear the damn paper and never see it for life. HAHA. Does eating more Chinese food help improve your Chinese?

 Anyway, A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HUAIYING AND LIYANA! I know it’s late, but hey, better late than never right. Well, it’s okay, I can always watch monsters vs aliens, with Eunice. It’s still good wholesome entertainment, which I love. It exercises the mind you know, it’s educational and inspriring and so full of morals.

I hope you enjoyed your birthday, Huaiying! Even though we practically tortured you and gave you a heartattack with the cake and all that. It comes in a package you see, the joy, pain, torture, mostly torture, but there’s loads of happiness to cover it up. HAHA.What I wanted to say is in the card, so no need to announce it publicly. Haha.

I hope what my tuition teacher said was right. I hope I really am in a safe zone for Chinese, she’s not even my Chinese teacher for nuts, she’s my math tutor, who happens to be great at Chinese. AND WHERE IS BS TAY AT SUCH A TIME?! THE PLACE I WISH I COULD BE AT. 

Peace out.

I am very angry. I am constantly angry actually. Nowadays, I barely have a clear mind. All I think about is, Chinese, must clear Chinese and so far, I’ve only been focusing on the negative things in life. Of all people, I think Joan experienced this negativity the most because she’s in the same class as me, and surprisingly she’s been pretty positive about things, so it’s good having someone who makes you look at the positive side of things.

I am determined, but unsure. I know I have a second chance, but that second chance is barely a second chance. Worst of all, I’ve been feeling really low and degraded. Tomorrow’s the last mock exam, I don’t want to fail, AGAIN. What in the world happened to my Chinese this year? Seriously, it’s like I just dropped suddenly. Today I also re-lived the experience of having someone give up on me. I know sometimes it’s just pretty small when someone casually says," I give up, you go on your own,", but I can’t have people give up on me, I’ll just feel really lousy and sad. Who likes letting people down anyway? Now I remember the days where 4 As or even A*s were not enough, back in primary school. Nothing was ever enough.

How can I live knowing that I’ve let so many people down once again? Will I repeat what happened during my PSLE again?

 I’m pissed off at many other things which I do not wish to name because this is a public blog which apparently quite a number of people read, so I’m keeping it quiet.

Well, peace out.