Bang it

I guess my doctor would confidently say that what I have is H1N1. He said that within 2 days, if tamiflu does work, what I have is H1N1. If it doesn’t work, then what I probably have is another type of flu, the H3N3 flu. H3N3 is another flu that has been spreading in the secondary schools and JCs very quickly recently, but what I have is probably H1N1, since Tamiflu is working. My temperature has gone down from 40.1 degrees to 38.5 degrees. Usually, having a temperature of 38.5 would seem horrible to have, but it definitely is much better than having a temperature of 40.1 degrees. Having a temperature of 38.5 is a relief, really. My sore throat’s gotten worse though, and my taste buds are kinda weird. My tongue has gone purple as well. Well, all I’m hoping for is to get well by Wednesday. I can’t miss my O level listening paper. That would really reek.

It’s kinda hard for me to arrange what I have to say systematically, because my brain’s not feeling very good.

 Cassandra, over and out.

The trip was fantastic. Got a bit sunburnt there, but still great! Check out my facebook profile to see how awesome the trip was. Haha!

My birthday was alright, was still pretty tired from the trip. My parents cooked up a good meal. Ate my fill, lamb chop, mac & cheese, broccoli, mushrooms and loads of other stuff, and loads and loads of ice-cream. U.D.D.E.R.S just opened downstairs. Their ice-cream’s great. GREAT GREAT ICE-CREAM. This is free advertisement man. Thanks to all the awesome people who wished me!

 It’s my brother’s birthday today, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINDON, TITI, BOY BOY, FEI ZAI..too many bloody names. Haha. You’re 12! This marks the beginning of a huge change in you. I know it, but you will always be my little brother.

 One of the most talented voices on earth is gone, but as long as we still listen to the songs that he sang, his soothing, mellow, yet high voice will always be remembered. It was about time it happened anyway, he’s already going 15. Definitely one of the best voices I’ve ever heard.

Transformers, more that meets the eye. Transformers, robots in disguise!

In a few hours, it’ll just be the sun, the beach, family and me. WHOO! How I miss water sports so much. Snorkeling, diving, kayaking, etc, even swimming. It’s different from swimming with a pool full of people, you know, it’s so much nicer swimming in the sea. Can’t wait! 

BUT! I’LL BE BACK! (Cassandra starts firing machine guns profusely. Doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot!)

That picture totally shows my character. Lol. In both ways. I think the times I enjoy myself most are when I’m with my family and my friends, so, honestly, what I really want for my birthday, isn’t what I’ve been crappily hinting about, but to be with my family and friends and just have fun. I think nothing beats the joy you get when you’re having fun with people you love. Just like in that picture. Gotta love the Mcfly guys. Haha.

I’m gonna end with my favourite band, when I was 2 years old, I still like them now though. LOL. SHAMPOO!

   I still have their album, coz my mum said that I liked them so much that she had to buy their album.

"uh oh, we’re in trouble."

WHOOO! IT’S OVER! Sort of. There’s still Oral and Listening, gotta speak more Chinese I guess. I hope hope hope hope and pray pray pray so so so hard that I clear the damn paper and never see it for life. HAHA. Does eating more Chinese food help improve your Chinese?

 Anyway, A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HUAIYING AND LIYANA! I know it’s late, but hey, better late than never right. Well, it’s okay, I can always watch monsters vs aliens, with Eunice. It’s still good wholesome entertainment, which I love. It exercises the mind you know, it’s educational and inspriring and so full of morals.

I hope you enjoyed your birthday, Huaiying! Even though we practically tortured you and gave you a heartattack with the cake and all that. It comes in a package you see, the joy, pain, torture, mostly torture, but there’s loads of happiness to cover it up. HAHA.What I wanted to say is in the card, so no need to announce it publicly. Haha.

I hope what my tuition teacher said was right. I hope I really am in a safe zone for Chinese, she’s not even my Chinese teacher for nuts, she’s my math tutor, who happens to be great at Chinese. AND WHERE IS BS TAY AT SUCH A TIME?! THE PLACE I WISH I COULD BE AT. 

Peace out.

I am very angry. I am constantly angry actually. Nowadays, I barely have a clear mind. All I think about is, Chinese, must clear Chinese and so far, I’ve only been focusing on the negative things in life. Of all people, I think Joan experienced this negativity the most because she’s in the same class as me, and surprisingly she’s been pretty positive about things, so it’s good having someone who makes you look at the positive side of things.

I am determined, but unsure. I know I have a second chance, but that second chance is barely a second chance. Worst of all, I’ve been feeling really low and degraded. Tomorrow’s the last mock exam, I don’t want to fail, AGAIN. What in the world happened to my Chinese this year? Seriously, it’s like I just dropped suddenly. Today I also re-lived the experience of having someone give up on me. I know sometimes it’s just pretty small when someone casually says," I give up, you go on your own,", but I can’t have people give up on me, I’ll just feel really lousy and sad. Who likes letting people down anyway? Now I remember the days where 4 As or even A*s were not enough, back in primary school. Nothing was ever enough.

How can I live knowing that I’ve let so many people down once again? Will I repeat what happened during my PSLE again?

 I’m pissed off at many other things which I do not wish to name because this is a public blog which apparently quite a number of people read, so I’m keeping it quiet.

Well, peace out.

I am not moving forward.

Why am I not moving forward?

When am I going to start moving forward?

Why am I dropping and staying still in some areas?

I know what I have to do, so, I’m going to do what I have to do. I’m not going to allow a repetition of my current results. I am going to clear my chinese in June with good results. I am going to move forward. I see the people around me saying that their improvements are not good enough, I look at myself and what can I do? Soak myself in self-pity? I’ve done enough of that, and now I’ve got to work. What shocked me the most was that I got a C for English for the first time in my life. English, the subject I never worry about. It’s time to work. Honestly, I didn’t put in half the amount of effort most people around me were putting in for their papers, half is a compliment, I think I didn’t even put in a tenth. I know I’m better than this, but I don’t believe I can do it. Now, I need to prove to myself I can. 2 more major exams before the real thing comes.

Come on Cass.

I still remember in Sec 1, when we were playing a sort of captain’s ball netball game, we talked, and you thought I was Malay. HAHA. Then we moved on to the GB room and you thought I wouldn’t want to join, because I was Malay, and you thought there would be a new addition to your Malay class. I kinda wonder why I didn’t take Malay either. In the end, we both joined netball. We definitely went through a lot through these 3 years and 5 months.

We definitely grew closer, from Sec 1 till now, through everything, from the little things we go through everyday, to the dramas we had in netball, the outings we had, the movie marathons and sleepovers, and the England Trip which is definitely unforgettable ( HAHAH, THE QUOTES!). Now, you’re definitely someone very important to me and one of the closest friends I have, it feels like we’re family sometimes, haha. (Well, I am a dog that goes in and out of SPCA very often.)

This person, you’ve probably guessed it already, this person is….NURUL NADZIRAH! I’d put up photos, but blogsome sucks when it comes to uploading photos. Everything else I want to say will be in an essay I’ll be giving you. Hahahahah. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NURUL! I HOPE YOU LIKE WHAT WE DID! Ah, the priceless moments we have. 

AH-WOOO-GAH! Chem and Math are over, I am so GLAD! I don’t have much confidence in Chemistry though, I felt like I didn’t memorise the stuff thoroughly enough, but then again, nothing’s ever enough. The heavy papers are gone and I feel like my head has turned a whole lot lighter. I can’t imagine how it’d feel after the O levels. WHOO! Kinda high on well, hunger, right now. I feel hungry. I ate my lunch an hour ago. What in tarnation?! Well, yeah, I’m hungry. Tomorrow’s a light day for me, so I should have no excuse for not doing well for physics, which is the only paper I have tomorrow. ALRIGHT! THAT’S GOOD NEWS! Something positive for once! I kinda like the common test periods, it feels like a holiday, though we are going back to school to think so hard that we barbeque our own brains.

Someone’s turning 16 this Sunday! Someone funny, someone I love spending time with, someone I can be a fool around, I could list it all out, but it’ll be really long, and that person is none other then, NURUL! I’m not gonna do the whole speech thing now. Haha.

I can’t believe Alice Burdeu modelled in Singapore last year. IT’S NOT FAIR THAT I DON’T SEE STARS WHEN THEY COME HERE. 

 Alright, I’m just gonna go revise and eat. BYE!

Every holiday that comes around goes so fast I wish for the next holiday to come. This year, Chem and Math lessons are cramming sessions. Mrs Tay went really fast for Math so that we would have enough revision time and Ms Aliah is always rushing as usual. We were just calculating how many more weeks we have till the O levels and I don’t believe it’s that close, it’s just a mere 26 weeks away, don’t even talk about days. Bloody hell, I don’t feel ready at all. My sec 3 Math work and even basics from sec 2 are just absolutely crap. I’ve got a lot of work to do. I hope I clear Chinese in June, really.

It’s Mothers’ Day tomorrow! I think we all know how important our mothers are to us, so, HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY MAMA!